My Paternal Jewishness

'hereness'

I grew up in a predominantly Christian white suburban Chicago town with Jewish grandparents living about 45 min away. They moved out to Colorado when I was 10. I never felt ostracized growing up for being partly Jewish. If anything, I felt special because of it. My immediate family was very much secular, but my dad could recite the Hannukah prayer in Hebrew and that's a cherished memory. A few years ago he took a DNA test and learned he is 98% Ashkenazi Jewish. Through online researching and family lore, I know that my great grandparents and older were likely from Eastern Europe in Poland or Russia, depending on the year as the borders often changed. Early this morning, 4/26/25, I learned two new-to-me words, that require still much more reading and reflection on my part: Bundism and doikayt, the latter meaning "hereness" in Yiddish. Bundism was a political movement that developed at the same time as Zionism in Europe in the late 1800s. In direct conflict with Zionism, the movement was for staying in Poland and making life there work. Bundists were a socialist party that actually found itself somewhat in conflict with Lenin's dream for Russia.

Tonight, I stumbled upon an unfamiliar phrase: The Pale of Settlement. Could it be that some of my family immigrated here during the pogroms of the late 1800s/early 1900s? I wish I knew more about my own family history. Thinking about the idea of doikayt, that "where we live is our home", really resonates with me. With lingering questions about the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, which was co-founded by Bundist Marek Edelman, I went to sleep.

I came back this post Sunday afternoon, 4/27/25, after reading more on the topic and listening to a couple of podcasts. I wanted to revise this writing and make it more cohesive, and I hope that by the time you're reading this it will be understandable. I have some answers to questions I had last night, but I still want to learn more.

I feel like I'm tending a garden of knowledge in my mind, and I can see so many paths to follow. I might get lost in my head. That happens. Integrating it all with everything else I've learned over the last 18 months will take time.

An article:

https://jacobin.com/2022/06/jewish-labor-bund-nazi-genocide-wwii-labor-migration-anti-zionism

Podcasts:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2rkbQGgDK9C2P1G0BybR0l?si=vuy3ftSxT2Wt9X2g_Tsssw

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Dyuxsrwt4OfenYEz3Llaq?si=CRpw93b-SpSo-YIOBEwkqw

Unexpected Birthday Snowfall

On Jeff's birthday evening Evey called us from work because they were closing early. There was an inch of snow on the ground in Maple Valley. I took this picture out our back patio.

About 30 minutes later, the snow hit us. Evey still wasn't home.

A few minutes after the 2nd picture I took, Evey called us again. She had stopped and wasn't comfortable driving any further. So, Jeff and I went out to rescue her. We both lamented that we didn't want to die on our birthdays. He hates driving at night, but we were far safer with him behind the wheel.

Still, I was so afraid of something going wrong it left me shaking, but I was able to stay in control of my fear. I just really wanted it to be over. Between us and Evey lay miles of rural roads before winding hills down to and then up from the Green River, through heavy falling snow. There are only a few options to cross the river and we feared our regular route would be too difficult so we tried for the Kummer bridge on 169.

It was too steep a hill, across a 150+ foot chasm, especially on the north side of the road. We could see lots of distant twinkling lights creeping upward out of sight between the trees. We'd come to a dead stop. So, we turned back.

We backtracked across unplowed country roads, concerned whether we'd be able to get to Evey at all. We had to try our usual route across the river, at Whitney Bridge.

Our fears were allayed, especially after thinking we may have to abandon her car overnight. As we headed downhill toward the bridge a snow plough passed us going back uphill!

Once we reached Ten Trails, near where Evey had stopped, the roads had by then all been plowed at least once. Jeff had driven us to Evey, and then took her car home while I drove Evey with mine. And we made it.

Exhausted, I was SO grateful to climb into a warm bed, with all my family safe at home and without incident.

And for my birthday, a 🤍 Valentine's Day!! I love the snow, LOVE it, but I had been so scared last night all I wanted was to get home safely and to never leave my house ever again. 😂

Chickpea Smash for sandwiches

Both kids have taken a liking to the kind of sandwich I make for myself most days for lunch, which is basically made out of garbanzo beans and spices, ha ha. Similar recipes are easy to find -- one that I know I started with, and have since doctored to make my own, came from Karissa's Vegan Kitchen.

Here's my version!

Makes 5-6 servings

Ingredients

15 oz can of garbanzo beans, drained*

2 tablespoons aquafaba* (saved from can)

1 tablespoon tahini or vegan mayo

3/4 teaspoon turmeric powder

3/4 teaspoon garlic powder

3/4 teaspoon onion powder

A spritz of lemon juice

1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

Empty the garbanzo beans into a Pyrex bowl (to save the mix for multiple sandwiches)

Add the aquafaba and smash up most of the beans (I used to use our our potato masher, but I haven't seen it since we moved)

Add the rest of the ingredients and mix it altogether

For a sandwich, one serving is about 2 large spoonfuls

Along with my smash, I made my sandwiches with toasted Ezekiel bread, Daiya American cheese (or Chao original), vegan mayo, and romaine lettuce. 

Chocolate Cake with Cashew Frosting

I wanted to bake something today and decided on chocolate cake. I started with this recipe from NoraCooks, but changed it enough to note ...

Dry Ingredients

1 cup white whole wheat flour

1/4 cup regular sugar

1/4 cup stevia sugar

1/4 cup cocoa powder

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/3 cup non-dairy chocolate chips

Wet Ingredients

3/4 cup cooked and peeled sweet potato

1/2 cup unsweetened cashew milk

1/2 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

1/2 cup soft tofu (silken would've been preferable)

And for the cashew frosting, I didn't have any maple syrup or even agave so I used my stevia powder.

Deliciously Rustic No-Sauce Vegetable Pasta

 Deliciously Rustic No-Sauce Vegetable Pasta
(Serves 3)

Here is a recipe I can no longer find online. I have a copy of it from when I printed it out back in 2016! The website, My Goodness Kitchen, still exists, but this recipe isn't out there anymore. My mom loves this dish and since she came over for dinner recently, I cooked it for her.

It has been altered from the original, so I've posted how I cook it. 🌱

Ingredients

6-8 oz brown rice (or whatever you want) spaghetti noodles

12 oz riced cauliflower

1 zucchini, cut into 1/4" cubes

1 tbsp red wine vinegar

2 tbsp lemon juice

1-2 tbsp (or so) of olive oil / and/or spray oil

2 cups baby spinach

Handful of finely chopped parsley

Garlic power (or fresh) and salt to taste

Lemon pepper to taste (optional)

Handful of sundried tomatoes, cut into small strips

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

In a bowl, mix together riced cauliflower with a little oil, salt, garlic powder, and lemon pepper to taste

Spread cauliflower onto baking sheet and bake for about 20 minutes

Cook pasta as package instructs

In a large wok or sauté pan heat up olive oil and garlic powder (fresh works, too) and then toss in zucchini; cook for a couple minutes

To the wok, add in the roasted cauliflower, red wine vinegar, more salt and/or lemon pepper

After a few minutes, add parsley, baby spinach, lemon juice, and sundried tomatoes

Finally, add strained and rinsed noodles, mix together. Once all is heated, add to plates to serve!

Why Do You Cave?

I wrote this May 23, 2007 ... well over ten years ago, but someone reminded me of it today and I thought I'd put it up.


Why Do You Cave?

I am going caving in three days! Actually, by the time this article is published, I’ll have gone and come back and hopefully written a trip report. The reason for this article is made clear in its title. Why do you cave? I believe that’s a question all of us cavers have been asked before. Do you have an answer readily available? I never have … until I just heard an inspiration this morning.

While watching a television show about the caves under Budapest, a caver showing the host one of the recently discovered caves below the city said, “It’s like a playground”. I found myself grinning because the concept rang so true for me, and it was so simple.

When people ask me why I like to go caving, I’ve never had a good, articulate answer for them. Now I do. Although it is a bit more complicated than just saying caves are like a playground for adults. I don’t want to give the impression that caves are a place to run amuck because they are such fragile environments. The act of scrambling, crawling, climbing, and traversing a cave’s varied passages is almost an art form. It is one of the few environments in which I feel truly agile. I am apt to, and have tripped over my own feet above ground! Perhaps another part of my love for caving is rooted in the fact that as a child I was never athletic in the traditional sense. I climbed trees and rode my bike, but I was never involved in school sports like track or basketball. I wasn’t good at them. I think I’m good at caving. And the fact that it is an unusual activity makes me feel all the more special. Take that all you cruel kids who picked me last in gym class!

Some people might counter the playground description with: “But you’re an adult now, don’t you think it’s time to grow up?” To that I would say absolutely not. I still know how to have fun. Real fun. Fun that I can express with my entire being, both mental and physical. In the cave environment, I am forced to put my whole self into the “now”. It commands all my attention, which may be why every day worries and troubles temporarily have less hold over me, or don’t seem as dire.

I just had to edit the last paragraph from using the point-of-view from second person (you) to first person (me), because I cannot speak for all cavers, just myself and how I feel. I hope though, that this article helps non-cavers to better understand this unusual activity we participate in and that it perhaps gives another caver insight into their own experiences.

Caving has so many varying aspects and that is probably why it draws people from such diverse backgrounds. Some people cave for the sport (and that doesn’t necessarily make them spelunkers), some cave to map, some cave to study cave life, some cave to develop better rescue practices, some cave to search for cures to diseases, some cave to study history, some cave to photograph, etc. And typically, a person falls under more than one category. That is why you’ll find such people ranging from doctors to students to payroll professionals (myself) all labeling themselves as “caver”.

So the next time someone asks me why I like to go caving, I’ll answer, “because it’s like a playground for adults”. And hopefully that will open up a conversation that involves describing what I enjoy doing below ground, why, and how safe caving practices are good for both cavers and caves. Nobody likes it when vandals graffiti or trash children’s playground equipment, right? In caves, it’s all the more important because it’s a natural environment.

This paragraph comes from another article I wrote just over a year ago, but fits here as well: Caving makes me feel alive and I try to be aware of the following things so they can permeate throughout the rest of my life: to constantly challenge myself, appreciate all of nature, and love all the people in my life.

Cave softly. Cave passionately.

A Success Story?

Almost a year ago I made the conscious decision to go from omnivore to vegan and it has opened up an amazing new world of food. Though my initial reason was for animals, it has grown into three reasons ... still for the animals 💗, for the earth itself, and most surprisingly for my own health.

I have lost 35 lbs since last May and am now in better, healthier, stronger shape than I was over ten years ago just before I became pregnant with Evey. Exercising, any little bit, every day has become a habit again. For example, push-ups no longer feel awkward!

In February I had my annual bloodwork done and my cholesterol is 136, my HDL is 74 & LDL is 54, and my vitamins and minerals are all at good levels. I plan and hope to live a very long time. I want to be part of the next generation of 80+ year old cavers and hikers!

I'm not perfect (mmm desserts), and I'm often really hard on myself for that even though I know I shouldn't be. 😯 I am a work-in-progress. We can always get stronger and more skilled, both physically and mentally. It's OK to celebrate along the way though, right?

First I struggled with whether to write this at all, and now I keep revising it. Why? At least in part because I don't want to come off as a braggart. Also, because I'm afraid of failing, not at being a vegan - of that lifestyle I'm confident, but of "letting myself go" again.

I will not let that happen. I have come a long way in the past year, and I think I should be proud of it. And to feel OK with being proud of it.